Looking for the One, True Church

I am looking for a new church to go to.  It is confusing in this time to know which church is worth entering.  There are so many that claim to be Christian, but in truth are clearly not.  Some of them allow homosexuals to attend and they even might defend same sex marriages.  Some churches defile their services by allowing women to be priests.  Again and again I see churches allowing all manner of unGodly acts in their halls.

This is clearly a big part of what is wrong with this time.

In my time there is only one church and it is the true Church of Christ.  We are taught the true word of Christ, following the Biblical rules in full.  We do not question the Bible or try to twist its words to justify sin.  Our priests are true men of Christ and are listened to as only they can truly understand the word of God and in so are able to pass the true meaning of the Bible on to us.

The people of this time are obviously confused by so many false churches claiming to be following God’s word.  It is all just a scam for the Devil to trick you into sinning.  Once the Koch-Trump Alliance takes the needed steps to create the one true Church, these problems will be fixed as the Corporation over sees our religious needs to help keep us on the right path.